Couple & Family Therapy
The argument is rarely about what it's about
Couples usually come with a specific complaint: money, the in-laws, the phone, who does more. But the same fight in different clothing, running for years, is not a disagreement. It is a structure — a way the two of you have learned to protect yourselves from each other, which once made sense and has now become the thing keeping you apart.
I work with that structure rather than the content of the latest argument.
What Actually Happens
The first session is not intake paperwork. I want to see the pattern, which means I will ask each of you to describe the same event and listen for where the two accounts stop matching. That gap is usually where the work is.
By the end of the first session you should both have a clearer picture of what is actually happening between you — not a diagnosis of who is at fault.
I don’t take sides, and I don’t act as a referee handing out communication scripts. My job is to make the structure visible enough that you can both see it, including the parts each of you contributes without meaning to.
Common Questions
My partner doesn’t want to come.
Very common. Reluctance is usually not indifference — it is often the expectation of being put on trial. It can help if the invitation is to look at the pattern together rather than to fix one person. If your partner won’t come, individual work on a relationship is still possible and often useful.
What if we’re deciding whether to separate?
That is legitimate work. Some couples come to rebuild, some to understand what happened, and some to separate with less damage — particularly where children are involved. The aim is that the decision is made clearly rather than by exhaustion.
Will you tell us we should stay together?
No. That is not mine to decide, and a therapist steering the outcome is doing something other than therapy.
How long does this take?
It depends on how long the pattern has been running and what you do between sessions. I don’t ask for a commitment to a fixed number of sessions. Most couples finish.
I don’t work with active abuse in the relationship, where couples therapy can increase risk rather than reduce it. If that is your situation, I will help you find appropriate support.
This Work Suits
- Couples in the same recurring conflict, or in silence where the conflict used to be
- Partners deciding whether to stay together
- Parents and teenagers who have stopped being able to talk
- Families across generational or cultural divides
- Adult children and parents repairing years of misunderstanding
Sessions
$250 CAD per 50 minutes. Extended sessions available for couples and families, which many find useful when there are several voices in the room.
In person in Vaughan, or online across Ontario.
Sessions in English, Ukrainian, and Russian — including when partners are more fluent in different languages. You are welcome to move between them.